Tiffany's Story

Heres My story:

I was raped when I was 5 years old and it was bye my own cousin. At the time he was 17. We were in his room because my uncle was babysitting me, and my abuser asked me if I wanted to play house, so like any other child I answered yes, thinking it would not have any consequences. He told me to lay on the bed and pull down my shorts, so I did and then he done the same to his. I did not know any different so I went along with the "act". That is when he used force and raped me. We went to court and he got sent away which was for only a little while because he was a minor and so he got out when he was 18. He then returned to school and was not supposed to ride the bus but was aloud to any way. I came home that day and cried so much. I still have nightmares about that night, I never received counseling or any thing but my cousins and ! friends who also have been raped or abused have helped me through the ruff times. But now I am 14 and when we talk about this in class, everyone cracks up over the topic and believes it is a funny matter but it isn't. And when I tell my close friends they just say it was a bad thing that happened and then they just go on with life, not taking in consideration that I am still suffering. Some times I just wish that I could crawl up and die but I deep down struggle to keep fighting and I have tried to commit suicide one time but didn't succeed. My family is not supporting as far as getting me help but if there is some one out there who I could talk to as a pen-pal on this subject I would be VERY appreciated. Thank you for reading my story- Tiffany