Skye's Story

Hi Susan
I hope that by writing to your site I can get in contact with someone who has experienced or is going through what I am. I was sexually abused and repeatedly raped by my brother from the age of 5 till the age of 12 when he left home. My mother caught my brother very early on in the abuse and yelled at him etc, but never took further measures to ensure it stopped.
She continually left me home alone with him when she went to work etc. I also suffered molestation from my step father and from two of my mothers family friends, each time this happened I told her immediately. In short I always felt that mum failed to protect me, I am now 32 and have a 12 year old son. When I gave birth to him I swore to myself I would protect him and never let anyone hurt him. I realise the abuse affected me in some ways such as mistrusting men and pushing my boyfriends away emotionally when I got too close. I found a wonderful man 7 years ago and we live together now, he has a stepson who is now 16. I had grown extremely close to his son and one day told him about what had happened to me, he was so sad for me and hugged me tight, then later that night told me that it had also happened to him and that he was repeatedly raped for 6 years by his cousin. He had never told anyone in his life and begged me not to tell anyone. I was going away with his father that weekend so I thought I would discuss it further with him when we came back. On my return however he and my son were playing upstairs on the x-box I went up to tell them we were going out for breakfast and caught him fondling my son! I was absolutely devastated and couldn't stop shaking. It turns out he was molesting my son since he was six. He hadn't had sexual intercourse but had made him perform oral sex. I have not seen my partners son since that day he moved out and I have so much anger and hurt inside me that I just don't know how to deal with it. I can tell my partner wants me to see his son again, he has told me that he believes I could really help his son. But even though I loved him so much before I find it very difficult to feel that again. I am so confused and don't know where to turn to. Please add me to your penpals, I would love to hear from anyone in a similar situation or anyone who has some good advice. Email Skye