Sarah's Story

Hi, My name is Sarah. I just got done looking at your website (surviving childhood sexual abuse). I read your words and they hit home with me. I am 25 years old and was abused as a little girl. I am guessing when I was about 5. I blocked everything from my memory until I was 13 (actually it was my 13th birthday it starting coming back to me). I was alone, well, that creature (I won't give him respect enough to call him a man - he is not) knew what happened as well. I was so depressed as a kid, even having thoughts of ending it all for me. I didn't reach out to anyone in fear of what people would think of me. I never dated in high school, I always felt dirty. I didn't have close friends.
Everything changed in my life when I met my husband...he changed my life. I had my 1st baby in 1996 and not even 1 month later I told him my secret...it was like a dream. I swear the second it came out of my mouth a ton was lifted from my shoulders. He was so kind to me and kept on telling me I didn't do anything wrong. He made me see the light for the first time in my life. I told my parents a while later and they contacted human services to make sure that it was documented so that the creature that did this to me was not near children again. He did this to at least 3 other girls...we were all quiet, dark hair, dark eyes...it's like he even had a profile of what kind he wanted to go after. Now, 5 years later I have a very happy marriage 2 beautiful sons. But, I still need help. My question to you is how did you cope with it? I really would like to get some help but don't know how to go about it. I have this anger that I would just like to go after this creature, but I am a mother and have to be here for my children. I feel like I am still being violated because he got off with what he did and I will pay for it forever.
Thank you for your time.-Sarah