Rose Anne's Story

Hi, my name is Rose Anne. I am 51 years old. My abuse started when I was 4 or 5 years old. My mother was emotionally and mentally ill. She still is. My father was emotionally distant and worked two jobs. I had a male babysitter. Or what I thought was a male babysitter. I now realize this was a friend of my mother's. When it started, my mother's friend would play "horsy" with me, my mother would hold me down. I remember crying and my mother hitting me and telling me to "Stay still and be quiet". This went on for about 3 or 4 years. When I got older, I would run out of the apartment. My mother would come after me and force me back. My father was never home. He worked two jobs. When he was home, he was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. To say he was emotionally distant is to put it mildly. He was emotionally non-existent. I knew what happened to me all of my life, but I chose to ignore it. I was ashamed, because somehow I felt I caused it. I started my recovery last year and feel wonderful. I hated my mother all those years for what she allowed to happen. But now I realize she is someone to be pitied.
Rose Anne