
PB's Story
I really don't know what I'm doing here. But here goes.
I started therapy because I found out my 12 year old son had been
sexually abused by a teacher 5 years before. I got him into therapy;
while going through that I started having problems -- night terrors,
the hand touching me waking me up no one is there. Waking up crying
hard with wet pillow from tears. That had already been happening for
years, just didn't understand it. Sexual dreams as an infant with
my dad. Whew!
Got into therapy too. Dealing with my son's stuff -- therapy meetings
3-4-5 times a week. It all started bringing up my stuff. So I start
therapy, this is in the early 90's. Diagnosed with PTSD, learned a
lot about my behavior and choices made in life. Patterns of mine.
My dad was paranoid schizophrenic. I remember violence, him talking
in some other language I knew he didn't know. My mother sacrificed
me to take care of crazy drunk dad while she took brother and sister
into bedroom with her to protect them. I remember Dad giving me quarters,
and saying shhh, it's a secret from your mother. Then there's just
a complete black wall.
Ok. Had 3 - 4 years of therapy, understood a lot. Had
to quit because of present life stresses were just too much to deal
with too. Now 10 -
12 years later I'm having health problems. I notice PTSD symptoms.
I start researching online. I'm pretty sure I have Complex PTSD, and
health related problems. Low thyroid, low DHEA, low Cortisol, severe
adrenal fatigue, and so many other physical symptoms that seem to
stem from severe early childhood abuse with very long duration. I
cannot deal with stress at all the last 20 months or so without getting
sick or just bone tired. Can you direct me as to what to do now. I'm
seeing a doctor for thyroid, and he's having me take DHEA supplements.
I just don't know where to turn next. There's more to mention, but
I'll wait to see if it's needed.
Thank you PB.