Susan Smiles

PenPals

i was 7years old and had just met my half-brother for the first time.he was great buying me sweets,playing games with me,and making me feel extra special.then it started,i used to always sit on his knee because i loved him so much and loved the attention he gave me(i was the youngest of 3).he was 19years old,my mums son from her first marriage.he started by tickling me then it progressed to him coming into my room at night to play"our secret special game"there wasn't anything he didn't do to me sexually,thia went on for 4 years when i eventually told my mum(she noticed the way i started to shy away from him)her reaction was to give him money to leave to go to my uncle in Australia and not return.i was told not to tell my dad as this would break up the family and it would be my fault.i was always a daddy's girl and my dad was the best in the world so kind and gentle and i didn't want to lose him so i never said anything to anyone.i'm 31years old now married with two kids(girl13 andboy11)i can't say i'm happy because i can't remember what happiness is.i love my kids with all my heart and i'm very protective of them,my husband is a good man and he is the only person i have ever told about the abuse but he doesn't fully understand.i don't suppose you can understand unless it has happened to you,can you? if anyone is interested in contacting me i would like that very much. from Mary