Madelyn's Story

I just turned 24 as of April 21st. and yet again, I promised myself that I wouldn't think or cry about it this this year. That I would allow myself to ve happy this time. This is my true story of a girl just like yourselves.
I was adopted from Costa Rica along with my sister. Our parents are middle class citizens from Louisisana. He started to come into our room when I was 8 and Jen was 7. My mom worked nights and my father would come and read to us before bedtime. He started to hold me and say, " Do you know what a fish kiss is?" He would teach me to kiss him on the lips. He would wait for my sister to fall asleep before he made his move. My father would put his erected penis between my legs and move till he ejaculated on me. This continued till I was 10. I thought it was a game. I asked my sister if he plays the same game with h! er and she didn't even know what I was talking about. I just thought this was our secret game. Then, he gradually started to preform oral sex on me. It's seemed to help me sleep. Never, did I know what sex was either. Now, I'm 12 and my father places me on his lap in the bathroom that was in my room also. He put a lubricant on his penis and in my vigina then inserts it in me. I lost my virginity straddling my father. It hurt but I didn't cry to show how tough I was which I thought he'd be proud. He came inside of me and showered me after. My father continued to show me all these positions which was like a new game and as if I received points for having him ejaculate. Now, I'm 14 and I'm addicted to this game. I enjoyed every part of it. Until, I began my first relationship which turned sexually. I was so confused, this was the game, he knew it too. He explained that this was sex. ! My parents sheltered us so much that this was a shock. I started to sleep in my closet for I was afraid that my father would know I sept with another man. Not, fearing that he would disapprove but that I had played his game with another which he instructed me not too. Now, 15 he has left me alone and so I this is how I started my teen years: I began to sleep with guys to get some attention, runaway, sucided (2) all the crazy things to forget my childhood. I now am 24years old and have moved 10 different place in the past 4 years of my life. Also, I was married twice and divorced twice before the age of 22 and to make matters worst in my memories, I lost my first and only child to mental abuse. He was born to early, for that's what was probably best. Now, I reside in Southern California and still running and trying to deal with this woman I've become. Things are looking up though, I just made one year with a good company, I work for.&n! bsp; I've stayed in one place for a year also and bought an old car but I bought the car! My life will go on but the pain is so deep it's like a leash cutting into my neck every year until I choke.
Take Care Always,
Madelyn
Southern California