Susan Smiles

PenPals

Hi I'm Lisa and I could really use a penal.
I was about 4 when the abuse started at least that is the earliest I can remember. There are flash backs that I get but I only remember bits and pieces before 4. my step father started by touching and it progressed from there. My mom was never home. When she wasn't working she was at bingo. when I tried to refuse he made life hell for me. I was not aloud to have friends over and he said he had better never here of me talking to a boy. He emotionally abused me as well. This went on until I was sixteen. I moved in with my aunt than. My mother stayed with him I don't think she believed me. She said she did but if that were true how could she stay with him? I know this may seem a little jumbled but I still to this day get very emotional when I talk about it. I am not 31 and I have 3 children of my own. I have a very hard time trusting anyone. My kids don't understand why im so protective. I never pressed charges. We went to child protective services, but as they were investigating it my mom talked me into saying it never happened, that I had lied. She said that if I didn't she would get into trouble and I didn't want that. At 16 what did I know? Well, I guess that is all I will say for now. If you want to talk sometimes that would be great.