Lacretia's Story

Dear Susan, I would like to share my story with you I have been reading on your web site for a while and even sent you an email I cryed over many of the storys I read what got to me is there is so many people that have been hurt like me.Well here goes I was sexualy abused by many people I grew up knowing nothing more thin sex and abuse I belive my abuse started whin I was a baby well I do not think it'S like I know I can tell you how I just do well any way the first time I remember is the age of 3 that’s when I remenber my dad touching me between my legs and made me touch him the first time he had sex with me was 4 years old and went on over and over I remember the foot steps coming to my room I heat the dark bad things come in the dark.Well I wish I could say it stoped after that but it did not there was thease boys who lived across the street from me who where also being abused and took there abused out on me they did unspeakable things to me what gets me is they enjoyed hurting me.After my dad had beat me for the last time my mom left my dad I wish I could say it was over but it was not I stayed with a lady who was keeping me and her grand daughter well she would leave us with her husban who would touch us and have sex with us we used to always hold hands we faced the monster together.This went on for a while tile on day I told my mom what he did she took me away from there but she told me never to tell anyone I felt so alone I lost my friend she told to and her mom took her away.my mom made me belive it was my fault and said to myself I would never tell her any thing like that again. I let boys at an early age do things to me even have sex I belived the is what you do. We moved again And then my mom meat the man who became my step dad and also we meat the man next door who would be the one to abuse sexualy from the age of 8 to 19 years old.It was no better at home the foot steps stared again coming to my room at night to take away every thing from me I truly had no safe place in this wourld you would think church would be safe but boy was I wrong my preacher hurt me to but he did not just hurt me he hurt many kids and grownups I can not tell you how many people he hurt it went on for a long time. In this time with my step father, next door nabor, and the preacher My cuson hurt me to he raped me and did outher things to me he was a sick. You see he was hurt to by his dad and maybe his mom but that’s no reason for what he did to me. Also in this time I had a girl couson who was in to divel worshop and I not readady to tell all what she did to me. I was hurt also by my 2 uncel,and my grand mouther who I will not go in to about .My mom hurt me to not sexualy she had outher ways I felt like I walked on egg shells all the time careful not to mess up.because I knew I would get a betten when I did I hurt so much as achid and a teen from the sex an from the beatings I got well my mom and step dad kicked me out when I was 19.And a lady took me in little did I know she was my new abuser she did things to me and made me do things to her I lived a night mare every day she said she had to take care pf me so I had to help her so she sold me to men for money I lived a life when this was going on over drugs and dranking I do not even know how I got home most nights and of course the men took advange of me being drunk I had sex with more men then I would like to say. Well now at 33 years old I getting the help I need I still have the nightmares and I sleep with the light on so scared thay will get me again I have even been sleeping in my colest because I get so scared it's the only place at my house I fell safe I use to hide there many times whin I was growing up it's my safe place. MY outher safe place is with the lady who is helping me. For the first time some one belives me and helps me I thank God for her every day I am far from being heald I have a long way to go I would love to beable to talk to some one by email and help heal together please any one email me if thay would like. Thank you Susan for being the person you are thank you again My name is LaCretia and hope you all will get the healing we need WE CAN MAKE IT NO MATTER HOW HARD IT GETS!!!!!!!