Jeanne's Story

I found your web site Susan Smiles and I wrote to say it's wonderful. I am 24, my name is Jeannie. I was molested by my babysitter when I was 10. I still can't remember everything but some parts I remember. I have felt different from all the other kids growing up but never knew why. My parents are wonderful, I love them so much. I was always so frightened of strangers and wouldn't go out on my own. I would have nightmares but wouldn't remember what they were about, would only remember being scared, then I would be sick. After she molested me I was sick for three weeks, in the hospital where I knew I would be safe. The doctors never found out, no one did. Teachers noticed I was nervous but they never asked why. I am starting to remember more, and it's very frightening. I have thought about suicide, like most everyone who is abused. I recently returned to the church, I am catholic. It has given me some solace. I would like to share this poem with you. I give you permission to use my story and poem on your web site with a warning to parents, please take notice when your child cries when you leave them with a sitter, or tells you that he or she does not like that sitter, the child may not be able to tell you why but it is important that you take these cries seriously. I never told my parents, they still don't know, I know I am not alone, there are other children out there who were molested or raped by teenagers who were paid to care for them. Jeannie