Jane's Story

My names Jane, I have been reading the real life stories told on this website, but none of them are like my own. I feel different, as I have never found any one who went through what I went through. I am now seventeen years of age.
My earliest memory is of when I was about four years old. Me and My twin sister were round our mums friends house. Her Friends daughter was eleven years of age. I remember she used to make me and my sister pull down our trousers and she'd smack our bottoms, in front of other girls around her age, and they would all laugh.
Soon she told us the word "Sex", which she had learned at 'big school' and she forced me and my sister to have lesbian sex. She told us this was the right thing to do, it was what girls done. She continued forcing us to do this till a few years. I was brought up confused. And i remember confronting the girl, and she said she didnt and i was a liar, and if i told anyone she would beat me up. I must of been about nine or so at the time. Years past. But in the last few years I have been thinking about it more, and it all makes sense, I have been confused whether I liked girls or not.
I have never told my twin I remember what we were forced to do, as I'm too scared, what she will say, think, and our friendship as sisters would totally change. I hate the girl that made me do those things, its never going to get out my head, I'm confused and frustrated and I don't even Know what it is called what she made me and my sister do. If anyone has been through anything like I have please email me as I feel very alone.