Susan Smiles

PenPals

Hi my name is Flora I'm 26 years old I was sexually abused by my brother I was about 7 or 8 years old he was much older.I can only remember bits and pieces of it I remember he always babysat me when my parents weren't home I remember running chasing my parents down our drive way crying I remember being so scared of him It was always in his room he would tell me to go wait there for him I would go to his room crying he would come take only my pants and panties off and he had a bottle of lotion under his mattress first he would touch my privates than he wolud kiss me than get the lotion and put it on his penis than I think you could imagine the rest.I know it happened more than once what i'm telling you now is the only thing I remember clearly I remember other stuff but not that much.I wake up with nightmares like 2 times a week it seems like I wake up thinking about this and go to sleep th! inking about this.My brother is dead now he committed suicide about 11 years ago.I told my mother and sister about it 4 years ago my mom didn't believe me but my sister did.Sometimes i'm glad he's dead but for my mom and dad's sake I wish he wasn't.Is it bad to think like that?I'm so glad I found this website I need to talk to other people like me.Thanks for listening I feel so much better

Flora