Susan Smiles

PenPals

I'm so glad i found your web site and pen pals page. I feel so alone and isolated. I am at a real turning point in my life,my fear is that i will lose the way again and give in to my despair My story is this,i'm a single mum,two beautiful angels, 6yrs and 14yrs.In july of this year i will be the state's chief witness in a trail against my father. He physically mentally and sexually abused me as a child.
I grew up in a house where there was no stability. My father was relentless in his desire to control.
My mum dropped dead five years ago,a week before she was due to be legally seperated from him.
I feel as though my whole life has been one very long bad dream.I know that if it weren't for my girls i wouldn't want to be alive. I live in a very small town in ireland (pop.3000),and it never ceases to amaze me that there is such a huge gaping hole in this country where support and information is concerned, especially in light of recent public revelations of crimenal convictions against state institutions, not mention incest cases where the adult survivor has gone public. My family and friends tell me that i am very brave and strong. I don't feel either.I feel washed out. I just want to get on with my life,to really be here for my girls,not to always feel as though i'm walking on eggshells or in a minefield where my own emotions are concerned! Is there anyone out there who knows what i mean?Has anyone gone through a courtcase against their abuser?please contact me.
Denise...Denise