Cheryl's Story

My story starts 40 yrs ago as an infant when I was born the 5th of five children. My oldest brother caught another brother with his finger inside me. He was changing my diaper. That was the beginning of a lifetime of abuse. When I was 5 my Mother began accepting money from men and sending them to my bedroom as a way to make ends meet. I was raised to believe that I was put on this earth to satisfy men no matter how badly it hurt. In time I was having sex with all the males in the family (I was the only female). Yes that means brothers, cousins, and uncles as well as paying customers. Upon reaching womanhood I started getting pregnant and was forced to have illegal abortions over and over again. I began to take this into my adulthood by becoming a prostitute until I married at age 21.He was an abusive husband. He was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive, but because I was taught to satisfy the man at all costs I allowed him to treat me this way. I did have 2 more pregnancys but this time carried them both boys to term. now ages 18 and 14 After 6 yrs of marrage I was sent to the first of many mental health hospitals. After 10 yrs we divorced but I lost custody of the boys because I was not mentally stable. I was all alone again and the abuse continued as I turned to the streets again, doing and satifying any man that came along. for this is what I was put on this earth to do. I married again 5 yrs later to another abusive man that wanted to use me to satify other men. He took money for my services and got high off of cocaine
while watching me be hurt by these other men and him. This lasted 1yr before he went to jail for assult with a deadly weapon and off to divorce court I went again, I found myself alone again and returned to the streets. This went on until I recieved a call from my ex-husband to come and get my youngest son because he didn't want him any more. I knew this was my chance to leave the only life I new and raise my child who I hadn't had for 8 yrs. Just 3 weeks ago I underwent a complete and radical hysterecomy because of all the damage that was done to me over the 40 yrs. I am all alone in this adventure and I am trying each and everyday to raise my child not to hurt any woman and to know what the word NO means. I live with my past each and everyday I will never get my childhood back, nor will I ever give myself to a man without wondering what he wants out of me, or how bad will I hurt later. Cheryl
ICQ#= 63389949 IM= Missy1CNS