Susan Smiles

Invasion of Body and Soul
Christ went through pain, though He did no wrong
I have searched the bible for So Very Long
The pain & fears from long ago, show up now, only as a tear
They cut me to the soul, like a thirty foot spear

I thought you delivered me, from the anger and hate
But the Fear & the Pain, just lay there and wait
What this thing has done, and who I became
As a child I couldn't win, in that kind of game

I ask you, why God left me, instead of taking me
I know You will answer, but can I wait to see
I've been trapped in a body, this is nothing but shame
As hard as I try the “Father’s” sins have overcame

Men of God near me, I can not take
I ask You, Could this really be my fate
When the panic starts, and the fear of more pain
The nearest door, is my only aim

It seems it would lessen over the years
But Jesus when will I win, and it all disappears
When will I stop smelling, the stench of old beer
That lead to this “Father” teaching me this fear

Whenever a Priest or Brother says come here, it starts
The torment in my body, goes to all of my parts
Lord I talk to you, But have never know You as “Father”
Can I ever be worthy, should I even still bother.

The doubt that I will ever Know you, saddens me
So many Battles, so many Wars, a scared little girl is all I see
What you sealed at birth you meant for good
But it was broken and Sealed with Evil, and that is so

I’ve tried to get Fathers approval, mine and my sons
But I guess for some, it can never be done
You let other kids die, after stuff like this
Of all the sadness, Not dying is what I miss

Trapped in a body I hate, and a world I can't trust
But living in it You say, continues to be a must
I have nothing left to give, Why am I here
But fear of hell, is even worse than the tear

Debbie Heckel Garner
Bridgeport, Al