Anonymous

I've never told the entire story. I have told pieces of it that I thought people could handle. But I think I've come to a point where it is time as I feel like I have been fooling everyone and it is now unraveling.

I am a 30 year old single woman.
I have been successful in my career thus far.
People respect me.
People look to me for support, love, and friendship.
I am intelligent.
I am beautiful.

I was sexually abused by my brother 8 years my senior from the age of 5-12.
I was sexually abused by another brother 4 years my senior from the age of 8-14.
I do not trust people.
Once outgoing, I consider myself very secretive and introverted and others are starting to comment.
I become numb when asked to discuss my feelings.
I have a thyroid disorder I do not take care of.
I quit my lucrative, successful job last Friday because I could not stop crying.
I drink too much.
My last two relationships have been with married men, one which I thought was my soul mate.
I have not been happy in a long time.
Anything wrong that happens is always my fault.
I feel guilty about everything.
I am so scared, but this is my first step.