I am 35 years old, married with two beautiful children, who, thankfully have not been affected by the trauma of my therapy. When I was 5 years old my father (although I hate to call him that) started to sexually abuse me. He would come home after an evening of drinking and would come to my bedroom -
I would hear his footsteps coming up the gravel path outside of our house and I soon learned what those footsteps meant. The abuse continued and got more severe as the years went by, and by the time I was 8 he would be coming to my room at least twice a week (sometimes more), mostly he had been drinking but not always. The thing that I find difficult is that all the time this was happening my mother was somewhere else, either in the house or outside in the garden or sitting in the car with her "best friend" ,another woman, who I now know was her lover. My father went out drinking every night and my mother and her lover would spend the evening together -this was normal for me it had always been this way. When he came home they would usually argue, big time - lots of screaming and shouting, it would terrify me. After some time my mother and lover would go outside or elsewhere and he would come to me, he would be very angry and he would take out his anger and frustration on me. I feel like she sacrificed me to him so that she could have her own life. I have had many years of therapy now and am doing well, my life is no longer ruled by the fear and panic that has held me back. I am now able to have a closer realtionship with my husband, and my children are well balanced and happy. I still have many issues, especially in dealing with the fact that my mother knew of the abuse and chose not to help me because of her own selfishness. But I will survive and I will be healthy, they will not destroy me Name Withheld.