Angie's Story

Hi my name is Angie, I am 22. story...
I was first molested when I was 4 by a group of 4 neighborhood kids that ranged from the ages of 5-12,
3 boys and one girl. They all took turns touching my privates and rubbing theirs against mine until my mom called me for dinner. When I went back outside they were still waiting for me so I ran back inside and told my mom. When I was 8 my moms boyfriend molested me when she went to a party. It was the first time she had ever left me with him. The only tv we had was in their room. He told me I had been good all day so I could stay up and watch tv for an extra 1/2 hour. He climbed in bed with me and stuck his fingers under my panties and rubbed my privates. I just froze because he told me I had to stay there and I didn't know what else to do. I went to my room and cried the rest of the night. I told my mom 6 months later when we were watching a show on date rape and she told me to tell her if anyone had ever touched me.
That same night while my mom was outside he pulled me on his lap and started touching me through my clothes. I had a box of McDonalds cookies in my hand so I hit him over the head with it and told him to stop. He continued until my mom came in and then left and I told her. Those were the only times that he touched me like that but he used to watch me in the shower and bath and would rub baby oil on my body so he could wash it off. The state made me start counselling and I was in it until I was 13. Plus they made me have a exam done that was humiliating. The guy never spent a day in jail and the state said I should
have defended myself more.
When I was 11, I was abused again by a guy that our family was staying with. He was always trying to
kiss me and touch me. Then one day when my mom went out with his girlfriend I asked him to play a
board game with me, he said only if I played a game with him first in his room and he started touching me and leading me down the hall. I told him I changed my mind and didn't want to play any games but he picked me up and carried me, I grabbed the door but he was too strong. He threw me on the bed and pinned me until I promised not to run. Then he started touching me and took my clothes off. Kissing and touching all of my body and rubbing his privates against mine. He told me I was his secret girlfriend and couldn't tell anyone because they would take me away. He also used to make me put his privates into my mouth. He used to try messing with my mom too because she had my counsellor as me if he was touching me, but I lied. I didn't want to go through the counselling longer or the exam again. Then when I was 16 a friend of the family started abusing me. He knew Chiropractic stuff and used to work on me so after awhile he started telling my pelvic bone was out and he would stick his fingers inside of me. He used to kiss me and touch my breast and then he started making me let him do oral sex on me. and that went on for almost a year. I am tired of holding all of he guilt and blame. I just want to heal now. Before I read some of the stores on your site I thought I was crazy for the way I felt and for some of the things I tried like cutting up my body to release pain and thought it had to be my fault because of how many peolple I had been abused by. I would like to be able to have a few frieds to talk to so I can heal and hopefully help someone heal also. Thank you for listening.
Angie